‘I adopted my sister’s daughter – now she wants me to take her unborn baby too’
A woman who adopted her sister’s daughter has been left feeling helpless after her sister announced she was pregnant once more and expected her to take on the baby too.
The 35-year-old adopted her niece, nine, seven years ago in a bid to help her younger sister who fell pregnant when she was just 17. She loves her niece to pieces, but has confessed that raising her has been incredibly tough, and she had never planned to have kids of her own.
“I love my niece and I will never ever blame her for my sister’s mistakes, but it unfortunately uprooted my life. It caused a significant side track in my career and I’ve had to turn down better job offers even because they wouldn’t allow me to stay close enough to home,” she wrote on Reddit’s AITA forum.
“My parents love my niece, but cannot take on the responsibility of caring for her so I don’t want to separate them. I had never planned to have children. I even had a boyfriend before I took in my niece, but he also did not want to have children, and we made the decision to part when I took her in.”
The family have never hidden from the little girl who her biological mum is, and while it has been difficult, three years ago the woman’s sister came back into their lives once again. She told her that she wanted the child to stay with her aunt as she is more able to give her a better life, both practically and financially.
Instead, the woman’s sister acts like an aunt to her biological daughter and tends to float from home to home, living with different boyfriends, as she often struggles to keep herself afloat financially.
“This past holiday, we were at my parents to open presents and my sister gave my niece a present to open. It was a shirt that said ‘I’m going to be big sister!’ on it. We weren’t sure what this meant but my sister informed us that she was pregnant, and that she would not be able to keep it and she was once again expecting me to take in the baby,”the woman continued.
“My niece was so excited at the news and my parents were happy to hear they were getting another grandchild, but I was just floored. I burst into tears immediately and just walked out. My sister came in to talk to me and I told her that I wouldn’t be able to take in the baby. I don’t want a new baby. I love my niece, but raising her is enough responsibility already.
“My sister told me I would be wrong not to take in my nieces brother. She didn’t mean to get pregnant, apparently she was on birth control, and she doesn’t know who the father is. My parents couldn’t take on a baby either so it’s up to me. My sister told me I should feel ‘blessed’ but I don’t.”
The whole family is now upset at her and are trying to change her mind about taking on the baby, but she feels taking on another child would “completely ruin her life.”
“She threw this on you in front of everyone including her/your daughter?! No. Manipulation in its purest form,” one Reddit user responded.
“She’s 26 now. Not 17. At this point, if she can’t get her life together to keep the baby (or simply doesn’t want it), that’s fine. She doesn’t have to keep it but it’s not on you to take it. She can put it up for adoption; there are other families looking to adopt. You are not her child-raising service.”
Another added: “What the actual f*** are your sister and your parents thinking? Your parents are happy about another grandchild? Under these circumstances? Your sister can’t keep popping out children and automatically expect you to take them in. This is absolutely ridiculous.”